♥ Matahariku

wat a day.!
today we're took last paper before 'our long furlough' *erkk,almost last.haa ;).
ughh, silly glep tyme answer est paper td, i completely lost 3 marks caused didn't have enough tyme.huwaa ;(. but,sokay lol. Let past be forgotten *chewahh ;p.
wada n i was the last candidates whom exit the exam hall. was we on our way going out. a cute, pretty, adore teacher threw some words. she asked wada 'along' her superb smile "today last paper wada ye ?". "haah" wada answered. Then she asked me "awk mal ?", high excitement i answered then,"talah. ade lg 1 paper. akaun". "oo,ari isnin ni" she continued her words. "haah" i replied.
erk..how sweet she is. She turned me a liquid using her smile.haa ;p. One day, i was taking an art paper.duhh, totally bored dowh ( boring sbb dat paper only took half n hour to done it, but the time provided was 1hour n 15minutes. On top of dat,ketua pengawas ta bg keluar awal ). Suddenly, dat 'beautiful Maria' came to my place. Perhaps she knew dat i'm in boring mood. So, she started her talk,. We were talking quite long n having a fun tyme *haa ;p, suddenly si penyibuk ketua pengawas uh mayah kiteorang suroh diam. "hishh. siol la, kacaw dawun btol si tuwe nie" i monologued. Eyeh, jelez la uh beautiful Mariah ta layan die. haa ;p.


okie, exam is end. i was thinking.."today is the last day i meet all my frens as a school students" . My imaginary flying far away. uhmm, HERE was a place where i registered as a student. HERE was a place i met all new frens ( which is my frens now ). HERE was a place i learned some new things evryday. HERE was a place i dropped some tears. HERE was a place i burst in happy moments, HERE was a place we were fighting together. HERE was a place we were teasing each other. HERE was a place i threw some harsh words. And today, HERE is a place where we are apart ; travelling to another journey.





i gave Cha ( which is unreal name ) a text to remind him bout samtink i promised FOR THE LAST TIME. "Cha ****** ( the reminder ) , guess dis da last text fer me to remind u huh!. Pasni tade lg r msj2 mal disturb Cha,exam pon da abesh..so i stop here.". "okie..tq mal",. i stoned awhile "did my massages interupting him selama ini ? whereas he's the one who asked me to remind him" uhmm, i ignored.

i care bout u much more den myself. tens all over me when thinking such why u done dis to me ( but i noe dat u r not the one i should blamed to, or dat person who crossed my line. i should blame myself ). just now, i read my dairy book from A - Z. mostly bout u.
i thought then, i should blame myself not other peoples. Because, i'm the one who gave so much care ; who loving u sampai nk mampos instead u did nothing as respond. :|

i hope dat we never meet again or even contact. i try to avoid u for both goodness ; FOR MY GOODNESS. i'm sorie dear, i have to. its been a long tyme i made myself suffered. My heart says dat it don't wanna let u go, even u have made it hurt.
i wish dat we can sit together alone, so i can say how care i am to u ; how lorve i am to u for the last tyme, so i can look deeply into ur eyes as long as i want. but, it just my imagination. i noe, u never want it.

what i have is only a HOPE. A HOPE dat can bring goodness for both of us. A HOPE dat can lead us to happiness. A HOPE for me to forget u. A HOPE for me to relief myself from tangled and sorrow. A HOPE for me to accept the truth. A HOPE to done all dis willingly.





METAPHOR
Let me through all dis by myself.
"i will hold the pain by self alone, provided dat u get taste the happiness"

"i rather to be blind, provided dat u can have the sense of sight"

"i willingly sacrifice own life-time, provided dat u can have a long lasting life"`